Published on July 28th, 2013 | by IceCube
25 Gaming Franchises We’re Sick Of (and why!)
Publishers are playing the easy route lately, choosing to reproduce sequels of titles they consider “safe” options. It happens so much now that any game that didn’t completely bomb is a contender for multiple sequels.
New IP’s are the most exciting things to come from the gaming industry these days, but they’re too few and far between. So get your Troll caps on and put the sports titles aside: here’s 25 video game franchises that have been milked to death and we’re done with!:
THE ONGOING GAMES THAT NEED TO DIE:
These games have bludgeoned us to gaming death with sequel after sequel and there’s no end in sight. It’s like Groundhog Day and they must be stopped!
By the time Assassin’s Creed: Revelations was released we wanted to cut our OWN throats. The original game was innovative and fantastic, but when the assassin had a face, personality and ownership of lands, it was getting cheesy. Most of all, repetitive and dull. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag looks like an amazing pirate game – a pirate game I would have pre-ordered if it was a new and exciting IP. Sadly, it’s just another Assassin’s Creed game – a great pirate game with a slightly bitter aftertaste.
“So which Assassin’s game am I in now?”
I hate Halo because it is the most overrated game in the galactic universe. It’s only popular because everybody who bought an XBox got a free copy of it. And as the only first-person shooter available on the console for a long time, it’s the only game casual XBox gamers played, and thus, knew of and recognize. This kind of popularity is similar to what spawned fond memories of GoldenEye on the Nintendo 64, another terribly overrated FPS. Halo has never been a good game. Ever. Even with a blank-cheque budget to produce Halo 4, I still wanted to stab my eyeballs with pencils after 10 minutes of it. Why? Glad you asked: Shooting is generic – you can’t even aim. There’s no character in the faceless characters. The AI is terrible (examine and learn: enemies pop in and out of cover like an amusement park shooting gallery). The aliens are stupid and impossible to take seriously. You can’t cover properly. Indoors are endless rows of dull, grey walls. The story and gameplay provides zero incentive to progress or improve. Master Chief is not (I repeat, not) cool. Needless to say, this series needs to die a horrible death, and reviewers need to leave nostalgia out of their takes of future releases.
“Piew! Piew! Piew!”
Always spectacular visuals! Always more boring than watching TV static. No matter how much they try, this game fails to absorb the player with ambition, outside of holding a trigger and shooting stuff pointlessly. At least, that’s what it feels like. Great-looking, uninspired shooting, every time.
“Wait! Aren’t you the guys from Metro 2033?”
Doesn’t really need an explanation. This game hasn’t changed since Dynasty Warriors 2, and almost all of those games have had spin-offs like Empires, Extreme Legends and Strikeforce. We quite enjoy the games, but the developers just have no idea how to refresh the series by taking it to the next level, outside of subtle changes.
“If I have to take out the Yellow Turban Rebellion one more time…”
Every Nintendo console deserves a Super Mario Bros. game. Why not? Hell, even take a Mario Kart on the house. After that, it’s time to sit down and shut up. Predicable games and lack of new IP’s is why Nintendo are struggling to keep up with the core market. Way too many resources are spent on this one franchise.
Need for Speed
We’ve always liked these racing games, but after playing Need For Speed: Rivals, we’re convinced they’re actually just leftover copies of Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit (2010). One game a year is starting to take it’s toll. Maybe a time-out is in order to re-assess and revolutionize. The other racing games are starting to look like it might leave this one for dust.
“Hey, didn’t I arrest you seven games ago?”
Team Ninja make some good games and we want to see them make more. But for the love of christ I wish they’d drop the main character, Ryu Hayabusa, off a cliff and create something new. He’s a washed-up, uninteresting and un-relatable ninja-guy who needs big-boobed side characters (on the back of the packaging) to pimp his disappointing games within. Die, Ryu, die. Let’s see some new games.
“Take that, purple cloud thing.”
GOOD ENDING! NOW GO AWAY:
Some series made a splash and have ended accordingly. Leave these games alone, and move along:
Gears of War
I loved all four of these games to death. It probably should have ended after Gears of War 3 and I would have been content, as Gears of War: Judgment (great as it was) felt a little labored. Still, it’s time to live and let die. I don’t want any more. The story (and backstory) is complete, it’s been a great run and I love you. But any more, and that love will turn into disdain. Thank you and goodbye.
“Seriously Marcus, now’s not the time for posing.”
Possibly the best trilogy ever, the story is complete like a perfect circle. It was a beautiful experience and a perfect ending from start to finish. Like all art forms, knowing when to stop is part of creating a masterpiece, which this game is. Don’t ruin it by milking it for cash. Please. Don’t.
“That’s the last time I fly Tiger Airlines”
Let’s face it, the first game was rubbish and the sequel was okay – I wonder why they even decided to make it. However, Far Cry 3 was actually pretty decent and, in my opinion, the first one in the series that’s worth a damn. But I’ll cringe if I hear a Far Cry 4 announcement – something I feel is almost inevitable. It would be nice to know these developers, who proved their worth in their latest feat, take their newfound skills into something brand new and exciting. A Far Cry 4 might be okay. Maybe. Hear my excitement.
“Well that idea provided some sunbathing space.”
Each game has been good, particularly the last one, Hitman: Absolution, which demonstrated some character in the big, bald buffoon of a main guy, Agent 47. I wasn’t excited for it, but I did enjoy it immensely. Do I care for another one? No. I’m done with Agent 47, but I’d love to see what the developers, IO Interactive, can do with a clean slate.
“Are you sure you’re a qualified masseuse?”
If you could handle the scares, the first two games were great, but the most recent game soured this series. It just didn’t have the captivating mojo and atmosphere of the predecessors. I always put this game on a thin leash, because I thought some of the scares were “cheap”. But they were entangled with great moments and worthy gameplay, overall creating a series I mostly enjoyed. Dead Space 3 should be the last game here, as another sequel will be pushing it.
“Dude, get out of my game. You’re killing the mood.”
I never enjoyed these games very much. They were more about showing off graphics than they were about anything else. They were good, but… yeah, that’s all. Feeling my buzz? This tech team have shown their polish, for sure. Now lets see what else they can do with it.
“Time to unleash my shoot-‘n-punch jump attack!”
COMEBACK ANNOUNCEMENTS THAT MADE US GROAN:
From the Lack of Creative Ideas Department are these old-school games making a comeback. Yay… *sigh*. All of them were met by a tedious head-slap and a very angry “Why?!”
The team that made Deus Ex: Human Revolution revisit this first-person stealth series for the PC that was never really that good or fun. Stealth games have already evolved since the original Thief games. Could it still surprise us? Maybe. Right now we see a poor man’s Dishonored and wasted resources.
“Um, I was looking for the bathroom?”
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Applause to Wolfenstein 3D for being the first, first-person shooter! Shake hands, cheer, good job. That was over 20 years ago. It was great then, but today, defines the core basics of a generic shooter. Wolfenstein: The New Order will follow that shoot-frenzy rule book: shooting, shooting and more shooting. But what are we doing this for today? Why? Don’t we have enough of this already?
“Adolf, I’ve got something I’d like you to meet.”
Let’s call this what it really is: Dead Island 2. Yes, same developers of Dead Island, you are making Dead Island 2 – don’t kid yourselves. Dead Island was okay entertainment for a while, milked to death with unwanted expansions and DLC. But doing another open-world zombie game with free-running, is a sequel with a new feature – not a new IP.
“Best. Fly-kick. Everrrr…”
Dead Rising 3
I love zombie games too, but like zombies, I’m at a point where I wish they would stay dead. The first two games were pretty wow-tastic with all the zombies on the one screen, but there were plenty of nuances that made it irritating to play. This new game looks pretty incredible on next-gen consoles, but again, we’re detecting the same lack of appeal that made the others feel flat. Is it just the main character? The “comedy” and silliness? Or something else? As good as it looks, it’s not high on the pre-order list.
“Hey, come back! At least let me try another song!”
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT MORE OF THESE:
They haven’t been announced, but you know they’re thinking about it. These games have at least one sequel already, and we’re staring at Publishers from afar with suspicious eyes and growing concern that another sequel is on the agenda. Word of advice: DON’T DO IT!:
The Darkness 3
Why they made The Darkness II is beyond me. The first one might have done okay because it was an early console title and there wasn’t much else to play at the time. Otherwise it was very ordinary. Speaking of Image comics: How much better would a third-person Witchblade game have been?
“Eat this, Statham!”
Just Cause 3
These games came from planet who cares. They weren’t good to play then and we wouldn’t care if they announced it now. It’s like a very, very poor man’s James Bond.
“Nobody parks their car in my town.”
Army of Two 4
Let’s face it, the second game (Army of Two: The 40th day) was the only one worth a damn. The other two are complete washovers and it would be mad to push this any further than it’s already been heaved.
“Don’t shoot him, he’s just… Never mind.”
Medal of Honor 15 (yes, 15!)
We’d feel sorry for this military shooter, which used to be king of the multiplayer world before Call of Duty shot it to pieces (not literally, of course), and now it stinks after worse and worse sequels. But then we realized it’s published by Electronic Arts, who are quite happily living off the funds of the new mega-hit military shooter series: Battlefield 3. So we stopped giving a damn. Goodbye, Medal of Honor. We’d be amazed to see you again.
“This way I’ll know who’s been stealing my clips.”
God of War (um…) 7
What were they thinking with God of War: Ascension? The first two games on the PlayStation 2 were astounding, and the third wasn’t bad. But with the PSP games and HD collections included, this series was done and dusted, at least for a very, very long while. Some breathing room was required and Ascension was simply one game too many, too soon, and it didn’t do well with sales either. The thought of another is madness, but it may just happen.
“This contemporary dance stuff is catchy.”
It’s tough to place the faults of this game series because it does so many things right. It looks good, plays well and the characters are okay. But there’s something terribly unlikable about the atmosphere, direction and plot. Also? Sometimes being too powerful gets dull very quickly. This title needs no further attention.
“That’s the last time I drink microwaved Red Bull.”
Incredibly overrated by the media to support Warner’s entry into the video game publishing scene, we can now take back everything we said before, and admit these games sucked. Warner has the super-successful Batman now, so they don’t need any more sympathy. The F.E.A.R games had a completely nonsensical plot, crappy aiming, cheap scares every five seconds, and a copycat scary-little-girl horror cliche. Question: Why are those SWAT guys shooting at you with all that freaky stuff happening around them?
“Sunday church is just not the same.”
Killzone was Sony’s “answer” to Microsoft’s Halo, while Resistance was Sony’s “answer” to Microsoft’s Gears of War. It was never a good answer, but they pushed it hard anyway. We can’t take no more. Does “try again” mean anything to you?
“Gimme back Pa’s overalls, freak!”