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Published on February 11th, 2016 | by IceCube

Top 10 Worst Video Game Controllers

Okay peeps, here’s the deal: We human types are pretty excellent at developing rubbish video game controllers. There’s a huge archive of abysmal efforts, enough to fill a small museum. We could fill a top 100 list of this third-party junk, but instead we’re gonna present the worst ones you probably know of. Here we go:

10. PSP

We’re big fans of the PSP as a portable device, but as a controller it sucked. I mean, why would you release single-stick controls in the middle of the twin-stick era? We’ve needed twins sticks since the dawn of Wolfenstein 3D. Also, reaching those L and R buttons are a major handling issue.

blackpsp

9. Wii remote

Oh, spare us your tears. This silly stick thing made good games impossible to play. If you’re not accidentally smashing your friends’ face in with a wild swing, you’re getting wrist RSI. Every game not called “Wii Sports” was a little bit worse for it.

wiiremote

8. CH F-16 CombatStick

Look at this s**t. It’s only one of a line of ridiculous PC gaming sticks that was released during an era when the latest Flight Simulator game was the coolest PC game since MS Golf. It was desperate times.

 

CH-F-16-CombatStick

7. Nintendo 64 controller

Hold the angry face, fanboys… In its defence, this was the first modern console controller to adopt a twirly stick thing. But the twirly stick thing was freakin’ horrible. It was wildly sensitive, had no grip, tiny, and awkwardly placed at the bottom-middle of the controller, which forced you to forfeit grip or buttons. To make things worse, every game made you to use the damn thing.

N64

6. Keyboard

Yes, the keyboard sucks. You’re playing video games with a typewriter that is designed for Microsoft Office. Adding a mouse accesses three playable gaming genres: Strategy, FPS and MMO – but practically waves the white mercy flag for everything else.

keyboard_black

5. Atari 2600 joystick

Few of you will remember the pains of early joysticks, but this single-button, tiny stick effort was the default. You almost had to pinch the top of the stick rather than grip it. Accuracy was never a thing.

Atari-2600-Joystick

4. Dance Pad

Dancing is the idea, looking like a complete twat is the reality. In fact, if you brought this dancing style to a nightclub, you’d be dragged out by bouncers. Our only recommended pre-game warm-up is to close all the blinds.

Dance-Pad

3. Atari 5200 Controller

Not to be confused with your first mobile phone, this ridiculous thing is a brick. You might as well control games on a walkie-talkie. Filled with cheap parts, it broke all the time, and was virtually unplayable without a table to rest it on.

Atari-5200-Controller

2. iOS and Android devices

Touchscreens: Excellent for phones and Apps, woeful for gaming. Fat fingers, sticky fingers, wet fingers, screen-blocking swipes, tiny buttons. It’s not a device fault, but it is a shortcoming that will forever impair app games.

ios-games-555

1. Nintendo Power Glove

The absurdity of this NES motion controller is fascinating. Like the Wii, it came with a TV-top camera, but motion was limited to tilting your wrist. The forearm control panel was stocked with unnecessary buttons and a standard NES controller layout, for when you get sick of the thing and wanna play normally again.

nintendo-power-glove-unit-1041428

Well that’s our top 10. Were there any obvious ones we missed? Let us know in the comments below!

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